Finding Our Way
by iWorkForVanilla
Summary: Taken after Jane's kidnapping in "Crazy for You." Months later Jane still is suffering, alone, and hurt - both physically and emotionally. Maura comes to save her and they "find their way" back to each other. Lemme know what you all think!
1. Chapter 1

It had been four months since Jane had been kidnapped. Four long, dreadful, and sleepless months. Jane couldn't step foot into her old apartment without feeling her anxiety take over; and although Jane didn't feel safe staying alone, she insisted. Maura had suggested that Jane move in with her temporarily, but Jane wanted to prove to people that she can save herself. _If I can save others, I can save myself._ But now, the reality of it all was really hitting her hard; and as much as she wanted to prove she would be alright, she was beginning to feel truly alone.

* * *

Jane had been watching movies and eating junk in the discomfort of her apartment that night; and even though the lazy life was something Jane greatly appreciated, she was missing the way her life once was.

Even though it'd been months since the kidnapping, Jane couldn't get herself to become comfortable with **anything**. She takes showers three times a day, out of fear she may be dirty; she keeps the curtains closed, out of fear that someone may be watching her 24/7; she even stopped going outside, out of fear that people might not look at her the same after seeing her in such a vulnerable position.

"I don't really know what my life has come to." said Jane as she held a broken piece of mirror in her hand. "I was once this _bad ass_ cop, and now, now it's like I'm nothing." Jane stared at herself in the small piece of mirror, astounded by how much fear and sadness was present in her eyes. "C'mon Rizzoli, get yourself together." She mumbled to herself, angrily.

Jane ran her hands over the rough edges of the broken mirror. She suddenly thought of a way she could heal some of the pain she was going through.

She ran the mirror over her wrist, feeling the coolness chill her nerves. She applied a little more pressure, and continued moving further down her arm. It didn't take long before she felt her skin give way to the jagged piece of glass. Once she reached mid-arm, she stopped and finished making an 'M' on her arm. Fiercely, she dropped the broken mirror and slouched to the back of the couch, watching the blood seep from her veins onto the cream coloured cushions of the couch; wondering if she could get used to this.

With some of the pain leaving her body, Jane finally felt a little peace. Letting her head sink into the pillows placed on the back of the couch, Jane finally slipped into a painless slumber.

* * *

It's been four months. Four months since she's had her best friend. Her _real_ best friend. Four sleepover-less, movie night-less, dinner date-less months. Although Maura grew up alone, and worked alone, Jane made her feel like she never wanted to be alone again; so these past four months _killed _her.

As Maura was going through her night routine, her mind kept wandering to that night.

She'd seen Jane tied to the bed, helpless; it was obvious that he'd seen _all of her_ because her clothes were changed. Looking at the computer screen and seeing how vulnerable and weak Jane was, and how useless she'd felt made her stomach churn. Jane was on the bridge of tears trying to communicate with her, Frost, Korsak, and Frankie, but her hard exterior and level head wouldn't let her. When he promised that she'd never talk to anybody ever again, Maura's heart dropped. But luckily, they'd been able to pinpoint Jane's location and soon Jane was free.

Maura walked over to the couch and clicked on the TV. Flipping through the channels, she unexpectedly landed on a Red Sox game. Immediately thinking of Jane, her mind started to blur with questions she had no answer to.

"Why didn't she just stay with me? Why does she always have to be the strong one? Why couldn't she just let me be there for her? She's always there for me." With these questions floating around in her head, Maura hadn't even noticed the tears slipping down her face, or the unexpected anger building in her stomach.

"Okay, I've had enough of this." Maura grabbed her coat and keys and walked out the door. She jumped into her car letting the engine roar a little, giving her some time to think, before driving off.

_I have no idea what I'm doing right now. Not the smallest idea; but that's how I usually am with Jane. I forget all logic and just feel free. I haven't felt that in months and I'm determined to get it back._

Maura was driving blindly through the streets of Boston; it wasn't until she got to Jane's house that she became aware of what she was doing.

* * *

Jane woke from her sleep, immediately noticing the pain shooting through her arm.

"Ahh, SHIT!" Jane looked down at her arm, not recalling **any** of this pain. Jane tried to walk to the bathroom and get a towel to clean up the blood from her arm, but as soon as she stood up, she felt dizzy and went tumbling to the ground with a loud thud. "Fff-uck!"

Maura was just outside the door when she heard Jane yell out; it was her best guess that there was a hint of pain and anger behind Jane's words. Not wanting to startle the detective, Maura eased her way into the apartment so quietly you'd think she was a skilled thief.

Jane's house was filthy. Discarded pizza boxes littered the kitchen along with empty and broken beer bottles. There was trash overflowing and spilling onto the floor and it smelt like something had found its way into the walls and died – stench filling the entire house.

"Jane? Jane are you okay? It's me, Maura."

"Mmmaurr... Help. Me._ Please._" Jane was aware of the fact that she was crying, but she didn't care, she knew she needed care **right now.**

Maura followed the muffled voice of Jane, and once she reached the living room she was not prepared to see what she saw.

Jane was collapsed on the floor of her living room, looking thin and frail, closely resembling a newborn fawn. Maura quickly rushed over to the detective and discovered all of the blood that decorated the couch and floor.

"Jane! Jane, what happened? Are you okay? I'm calling help now." Maura was frantic, she could barely make her fingers dial for help.

"Maura, I'm... I'm so sorry." Jane put her face down into Maura's lap, crying harder than Maura has ever seen.

"Hello?! I need an ambulance NOW! Hurry before she bleeds out!" Maura turned her attention to Jane. "Jane? Sweetheart, can you please tell me what happened?"

Jane shook her head no.

"Please Jane, _please._" Maura was practically begging now.

"Mauraa," Jane rolled onto her back, keeping her head in Maura's lap. "Maura, I feel sleepy."

"Jane, you can't go to sleep okay? Just stay with me." Maura placed her hands on Jane's cheeks rubbing them gently. "Don't go to sleep just yet, okay?" Jane nodded but didn't respond.

A couple minutes went by before Maura could hear the sirens wailing down the street. No more than thirty seconds later, the paramedics came rushing into the apartment.

"Ma'am," said one of the paramedics "can you tell me what happened here?" Maura left Jane with the other paramedics while she and the young man walked towards the kitchen. Maura was trying to gather her thoughts and slip into "Doctor" mode, but as she glanced around the apartment, thoughts of what Jane has been going through for the past four months, only stumped her.

"Miss…"

"Doctor – Doctor Isles."

"Doctor Isles. Do you have any idea what happened here."

"No, I…." Maura was distracted when she saw the paramedics strap Jane onto the gurney and wheel her put of the apartment.

"Hey! Be careful with her. She's been through enough!" Maura tried to return all of her attention back to the young man, but she just couldn't leave Jane.

"Mmaura. Where are you?!" cried Jane

Maura quickly turned on her heels, leaving the young paramedic behind still trying to ask questions. Maura knew it was rude to leave him behind, but she didn't care. What she needed right now was Jane; and what Jane needed right now was Maura.

As they reached the EMS truck, the paramedics told her that she couldn't ride. Making a small argument and losing, she was going to give them their wishes. As she turned away, walking back to her car, she heard Jane start to yell.

"I AM _NOT_ GOING ANYWHERE UNLESS SHE IS IN THE BACK OF THIS TRUCK! NOW GO AND GET HER!"

"Ma'am, you need to calm down." The paramedic tried to calm Jane down, but Jane was not having it. "You'll be fine as long as you don't get too worked up. Just try to relax, okay?"

"Hell no I'm going to relax! I want – I _NEED MAURA!_"

Hearing the chaos, Maura practically ran back to the truck.

Once Jane spotted Maura, she felt a little more put together, despite the trained professionals rushing around her and the excruciating pain coming from her arm.

"Jane." Maura climbed into the back of the truck. "Jane I'm here."

Jane gestured for Maura to come over to her. She could see the hesitation in Maura's face.

"C'mon Maur, you're not going to hurt me. I just – I just need you right now."

Maura climbed onto the gurney with Jane.

"Uhh, ma'am you can't do that."

"Shut it. She can do whatever she wants." snapped Jane.

"Jane I'm.. I'm so sorry." Maura cried onto Jane's shoulder, "I should have known, I should've been there for you. I'm so sorry Jane."

"Maur, it's not your fault okay? I know you'll always be there for me, you know it too."

Maura pulled back just far enough so she could give Jane a smile that was only reserved for her.

"Doctor Isles?" Maura looked up. "We're going to go ahead and give her the morphine so when we pull up to the hospital she can head into surgery immediately."

Maura didn't respond; she just watched the crew pump morphine into Jane's veins.

"I can feel the morphine," laughed Jane through closed eyes. "are you sure you're going to be okay while I'm asleep?"

Maura nodded. "Yes Jane, I'm a big girl."

Jane pinched Maura's side, laughing. "Yes, yes I know." Jane pulled Maura towards her side so there was no space left between the two. Maura subconsciously wrapped her arm around Jane's waist and put her head to Jane's chest, listening to her heart beat.

The smile on both of their faces was enough to tell that _this_ is what they really wanted. Not just friendship, a friendship, kinship, _and_ relationship, it felt too right to be anything other.

Jane kissed the top of Maura's head and said, "I love you Maur." Jane immediately felt Maura smile into her chest before replying.

"I love you too Jane."

Maura took Jane's hand and listened to her heart beat even out, signaling that Jane was finally asleep.

* * *

A/N: I'm not sure if I should make this a one shot or not – I kinda just wrote it, not thinking. But let me know what you guys think and want! Thanks (:


	2. Chapter 2

**Jane's POV**

_I have no idea what I was thinking – none what so ever. But now I know that the person that I've always wanted is right next to me, sleeping, holding onto me like her life depends on it. I wouldn't trade this feeling for __**the world.**__ I don't know how I'll be able to explain to her what I was going through, that's kinda one of the reasons I'm in here right now. Damn Jane, you go through all of this and __**still**__ don't know what to do… fuck it._

_This could potentially damage a lot of things, but it's a risk I can take._

* * *

**(No POV)**

"Maura. Maura, wake up." Jane gently shook Maura with her arm, you know, the one that wasn't wrapped up because she'd been so damn weak.

Maura groaned and sat up, "You're up." She smiled brightly and stretched.

"Yeah and now are you." Jane laughed.

Maura reached over and brushed Jane's hair out of her face, letting her hand rest in the crook of Jane's neck, "How are you feeling? Did you get enough rest?"

Jane took Maura's hand and kissed it, leaving it intertwined with her own, "Yeah I'm fine, you know, despite the ten million stitches in my arm." Jane gestured to her right arm, decorated with a neatly done baseball stitch. The stitches to Jane was just a mere reminder of how weak she'd actually become, she was weak for not taking help when she clearly needed it, and she was weak for taking the 'easy way out.' Jane covered the stitches, she didn't want to see them, she didn't want Maura to see them, even though she probably has already.

Maura noticed Jane's discomfort and decided to try and lighten the air. "Jane, I'm pretty sure it's nowhere near forty stitches even." Maura let out a light laugh. "I'm glad you're okay though Jane." She said rubbing her thumb on the back of Jane's hand.

"Yeah me too. You didn't call ma did you?"

"No," Maura said sounding nervous. "should I have? I figured you'd want to be relaxed and we both know how your mother is." The two girls shared a genuine laugh.

"Yeah, she's… a mother I guess. But I'm glad you didn't call her, I don't need _that _kind of attention right now."

Maura nodded in agreement.

"When can I get out of here? I'm ready to go home."

Maura looked at Jane, eyes wide in confusion and anger. Jane laughed, leaving Maura even more confused. "What? What's so funny?"

"Your face! God Maura, not _my_ house, I'm not going there for a while… I meant your _home._" Jane looked at Maura with a sincere smile playing on her lips and hopeful eyes. "That is if it's alright with you."

"Oh Jane, of course you can come home with me. Let's get the nurse in here." Maura pressed the button and soon the nurse walked in.

"Oooh goodie, you're awake… the both of you."

"How long have I been here?" Jane had been so comfortable with Maura, she'd forgotten to ask.

"Just two days." said the nurse carelessly, checking her clipboard.

Jane looked at Maura and could tell they were going to need to talk soon.

"Is Jane going to be ready for release today?" asked Maura, turning her attention to the nurse.

"Does she have medical attention available at home? Like a personal doctor?"

"That's me."

The nurse looked up from her clipboard. "Mhmm, honey, this one's a keeper." The nurse looked at Jane, pointing to Maura. "She hasn't left your side at all; not even when we asked. It's cute really. How long have you two been together?"

Jane looked at Maura silently telling her to answer, "Umm, we're not together." She said, a hint of disappointment in her voice.

"Oh, sorry. I just thought because… you know what, nevermind. I'll let you observe me cleaning and dressing the wounds so you'll know how to do them without any help."

* * *

When they got to Maura's house, Jane walked straight to the refrigerator and pulled out a beer. _Her beer._

"Jane, I don't think beer goes to well with your medicine." Maura said with a slight laugh.

"Maur, after what I've been through the past 48 hours, I think I deserve one." Jane went in the appliance drawer and pulled out a bottle opener. _A bottle opener just for Jane's beer._

Maura poured herself a glass of wine and her mind started to wander. _She looks so at home here, why didn't she just stay here in the first place? It seems like she would have been more comfortable. Maybe I should have made her stay here regardless of what she said – this all could have been avoided. It's my fault. Mine._

"What you thinkin' 'bout Maur?" Jane walked in front of Maura and leaned against the counter.

"Mmm, nothing much." She said looking down.

"Maura, you're lying. Hives, Maura." Jane pointed towards Maura's neck.

Maura turned on her heels and walked towards the couch, keeping her hand on her neck. "It's nothing, really." She said shaking her head.

Jane followed Maura and sat beside her on the couch. "Maura, whatever it is you know you can tell me."

"Jane…" Maura sat her glass down and turned towards Jane. "I can't… this is, this is _my _fault."

Jane looked at her, confused.

"Jane, _this…_" Maura pointed viscously at Jane's arm. "It's my fault! _I _could've prevented this. _I_ could've done something about it… but I didn't know how. I'm so sorry Jane." Maura broke down, body shaking, hands trembling, and tears flowing non-stop.

"Maura, there's no way you could've known. If anything it's my fault for shutting you out. I shut you out when I needed you the most." Jane took both of Maura's hands in her good hand. "Maura, _I'm _sorry. I shouldn't have shut you out. That was wrong of me. But I _promise_ I won't do it again; those four months without you were hell Maura, I can't do that to you… to us again."

_Us? _"I missed you Jane."

"I missed you too Maur."

* * *

"Jane are you okay in there?" Jane had been in the shower for nearly 30 minutes and Maura was starting to get worried.

"Uhh, yeah. I'm almost done Maura, be out in a second."

That second turned into three more minutes. When Jane finally walked out, it looked like all of her skin had been rubbed raw. "How was your shower?" Maura crossed Jane as she went to get some clothes for Jane out of her drawer. She handed Jane the clothes and went to head out the door. "Umm, Maur?"

"Yes Jane?"

"I need your help… you know, getting dressed."

After Maura helped Jane get dressed, they headed back to the living room.

"I'm surprised my mother hasn't interrupted us any." Jane plopped down on the couch and immediately regretted it once the pain shot up her arm.

"Me too. Maybe she now understands others' privacy." Maura couldn't contain her laugh. "Are you hungry?"

"Starving actually." Once her statement left her mouth, Jane finally realized she'd been starving herself for four months and felt nothing, but with Maura, she now felt everything.

"I'll order pizza or chinese?"

"Pizza. I need the fat."

Maura ignored the last comment because she, too, knew Jane needed the fat. She'd become thin and frail looking but still beautiful in Maura's eyes. After she finished ordering the pizza, Jane called after her.

"Come sit next to me Maur." Jane patted the seat next to her.

Maura sat down and Jane wasted no time scooting over until there was no room between them. She rested her hand on top of Maura's.

"I missed you, you know?" Jane gave Maura a shy smile.

"I know, and I missed you too Jane." Maura replied rubbing Jane's hand.

* * *

After cleaning up the remains of their dinner, they headed upstairs for bed.

"Goodnight Maur." Jane turned and started walking towards the guestroom.

"Jane where are you going?"

"The guestroom." Jane pointed towards the room.

"Oh. Do you want to sleep in there?"

"If it makes… No, not really." Jane snuffed out a laugh.

"Can you sleep with me tonight? If it's not problem." She looked down in hopes of not appearing pathetic.

Jane grabbed her hand and led her into the room, "It's no problem, none at all."

In bed, the two were snuggled closer than they normally would have been. They both needed to feel each other, make sure that after four lonely months, it was really the other there and not just a cruel joke of their imagination.

"Jane, I want to ask you something… about, you know." Maura hoped Jane wouldn't change her mind and leave her alone – again.

Jane let out a deep breath. "Not tonight Maur, maybe tomorrow. I just want to stay like this."

"Okay… okay." Maura nodded, silently giddy that Jane didn't leave her. "Goodnight Jane." She snuggled into Jane's neck and intertwined her hand with Jane's.

"Gooddnight Maura."

It was the middle of the night when was woken up by squirming, surprisingly, her and Jane had not moved at all during the night, until now.

_**Maura..**_ Maura's ears shot up when she heard her name. "Yes?" _**Don't… don't go. Please. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sor**__… _Jane shot out of bed. "Maura?"

"Jane, it's okay, it was just a dream. I'm right here."

Jane didn't reply, she just laid back down and slipped into a more comfortable sleep with Maura stroking her neck.

"I'm right here."

* * *

**A/N: I know it wasn't an eventful chapter but I think I might have a little something up my sleeve. Just let me know what you guys want! Thanks for this!**

**xoxox**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Sorry for the wait 3 **

**Oh, and whenever Jane's talking about '_him_' _or _'_he_' she's talking about Dominick**

* * *

**Maura's POV**

_We've been going at it all morning, non-stop. I thought that'd we'd find our way back to us, but I was wrong – weirdly enough. It all started when I asked her why she took thirty minute showers when before, I basically had to force her into the shower. Since that moment, it's all been nothing but yelling._

_"Jane, I just asked a simple question! Can we not? This is a little immature, really." I followed her into the kitchen._

"Maura, just leave me alone. Please." After she grabbed a beer she went into the living room and turned on a previously taped baseball game.

_"Jane, normally I would leave you alone; but, I'm afraid we need to get along since you are going to be staying here." I don't know what it was I said, but it was the wrong thing._

"Maura, what do you want? Just tell me so you can go away!" she paused the game and stared at me with an unusual glassy look in her eyes.

_"I just asked a simple question Jane! I obviously want an answer." I don't know what it was that I've done wrong, and as much as I wanted to drop on my knees and beg for her forgiveness, I refused._

"Okay, I take thirty minute showers because I do. Satisfied?" she resumed the game and took a sip of her beer.

_"No, I am not satisfied. And I'm pretty sure I've told you three times before, beer is not good for you while you're…"_

"_While you're in your current condition_. Yeah, yeah, I know Maura… I just don't care." She was mocking me, now I've really had enough.

_"Jane that is enough, you are not going to be in my house and be disrespectful! I've done all I can to try to help you out today but you've been such a bitch that I don't want to try anymore. Now we can work this out or I can call your mother and you can stay with her." I put my hands on my hips as I watched her face go through several emotions. It finally set on the one that I could not understand._

"Fine. I just won't be in _your_ house then." She brushed pass me and practically ran out the door. I wanted to yell and cry for her to come back, but I didn't. I sunk into the couch crying.

She left me again.

* * *

**Jane's POV**

_I don't really comprehend what just happened, nor do I know where I'm going. I just follow where my feet are taking me. Last night went so well, really well. It felt like we were finding our way back to each other, but I guess I was wrong – as always. I was… I __**am **__a damn good detective, best at BPD, but I can be so oblivious to the things right in front of me._

"Excuse me ma'am…" I _turned around to see who was ma'am-ing me, ready to tell them a few words_._ I saw an older man, probably around Ma's age approaching me… Next thing I know, his hand touched my elbow._ "Are you okay? You don't look too good." _I could feel the panic rising in my chest as I alternated glances between his hand on me and his face. Memories of __**him **__touching me clouded my thinking. _"Get away from me! Don't touch me!" _He ended up on the ground holding the side of his face._

_I decided that it would be best if I went some place safe. I settled on a nearby park – parks are safe. I was sitting on the bench watching the kids play. "This is what he did… He watched me." I thought it'd be best to give my attention to something a little less creepy so I started to pick with the scars on my hand. _"Those are some nasty scars you've got there." _"Yeah, they are." Not once did I look up, the scars on my hands had my undivided attention. _"I love coming to the park, it's so peaceful." _I nodded. _"Listen, I know this is a little straight forward, but do you think I can take you out for lunch? I was watching you from over there and you're quite beautiful." _Watching... He'd been watching me. He called me beautiful. I looked up and saw a smirk on his face and memories of when __**he**__ called me beautiful filled my mind. Next thing I know, the guy had a bloody nose._

"_Damn, two times in one day. I need a drink." I walked into a bar on the corner of whatever street I'd been walking on. _"What can I get for you today?"

"_Umm, one beer please." _

"Coming up."

_I was almost finished with my beer when I felt a hand on my lower back. I stopped mid-swig just to make sure what I was feeling was correct. _"Hey there baby. Waiting for me?" _Surely what I felt was real; there was a sloppy drunk all over me. I jabbed him in the stomach with my elbow before turning around and looking at him. _"You bitch!" _He reached me and placed both of his hands on either side of me, restricting my escape. He snarled at me through gritted teeth, _"I'll make sure you'll **never** do that again!" _His sudden anger. That phrase…Once again memories flashed through my mind like a slideshow. __**He**__ said he'd make sure I'd never talk to anyone again. When I came back to my senses, the guy was on the floor holding his junk, and his front tooth was knocked out. I checked myself and there was blood and glass on my hands._

_I ran back to Maura's house. I stopped for nothing and no one – I couldn't. Once I reached Maura's, I considered turning back. She'd be better without me. She is better without me. I can't be this broken and still be her foundation. How could I? _

_I don't know why I didn't leave, but I didn't second guess it either, I knocked on the door. _

"_Maura, it's me, Jane!"_

* * *

**Maura's POV**

_I was preparing lunch when I heard a knock at the door. I was really not in the mood to be bothered so I decided to let whoever it was, take care of themselves._

"Maura, it's me, Jane!"

"_Jane?" I dropped everything and practically ran to open the door. When I saw her, my stomach (metaphorically speaking of course) dropped. She looked beaten, out of breath, tired, and I could tell something was bothering her. I was still a little upset from this morning but seeing her like this, quickly changed my mind about being bitchy. I stepped aside waiting for her to walk in, "You know you didn't have to knock."_

"Yeah, I was kinda hoping that you'd listened to me and lock your door." She hung up her jacket. "And I was right."

_How could she be so nonchalant when she looks like this? "Jane, what happened to you? Are you okay?" She shrugged her shoulders and put her palms up, the usual 'I don't know' gesture. "Oh my god Jane, there's blood on your hands, you didn't…." I didn't know what to say. I didn't want to upset her again but I just needed to know._

"If you're trying to ask me if I cut again, I didn't… Well, I don't think I did, I don't really know what has happened in the past couple hours." She started pacing in the doorway of the kitchen. "I've been experiencing some weird shit all morning and I just needed to come back. I… I need to talk to you."

"_Well, go shower upstairs and I'll fix some lunch. We can discuss whatever you want over lunch." I turned away and started to prep the ingredients._

"Maura, I'm not hungry. Don't go through the trouble-"

"_Jane it's no trouble, just go shower, please." I didn't mean to sound so harsh but, hey, once it's said, it's said._

* * *

**Jane's POV**

_Lunch was going by pretty quiet, I was actually nervous about saying what I needed to Maura. This morning had been really rough; I was being unreasonable and she didn't deserve any of that. I can look at her and tell that she's pissed at me still but she's the closest person to me and I hate when she's mad at me. I need to make this right…_

"You're thinking," _it wasn't a question nor a simple statement, she didn't even bother looking up from her damn salad._

"_Yeah, I am." _

"About what?"_ she still didn't look at me._

"_Maura, I'm sorry about this morning." She __**finally **__looked at me. "I was being unreasonable and really mean. I'm sorry."_

"It's fine Jane. I shouldn't have kept bothering you with questions you didn't want to answer." She turned her attention back to her salad.

"_You weren't – well you were bothering me but, I didn't mean to make you feel the way that I did."_

_Still, she didn't look at me. "Maura please talk to me. Say something."_

"Okay." She looked up from her salad, fire in her eyes. "What the hell was going on with you this morning? I asked one simple question and it escalated into something completely absurd. Not only was I disrespected by someone I love, but I was disrespected _in my house._ So please explain to me what was going on. "

_She loves me. "Maura, I honestly can't tell you why I reacted the way I did… I'm sorry. I can't tell you how sorry I am. I love you, and you didn't deserve any of what I did to you, if anything you deserve better…" I don't know what else to say, so I avert my eyes and rise from the table._

"Jane please sit down." _I sat down. _"I accept your apology but I still want an explanation for this morning and why you came back here covered in blood."

_I started picking with the scars on my hands. "When you asked me about the showers, I didn't know what to say." I looked at her and clearly my answer wasn't good enough so I continued. "Since you know – __**him**__, I've been taking really long showers. I don't know why, but I just can't shake the feeling that I'm constantly dirty; I can never be clean enough…" I looked to see if she was following and when I saw her nod, I continued. "So when you asked me the question, I knew you'd tell me I was suffering from some traumatic disorder or whatever, and I just didn't want to hear it. I didn't want to talk about it… I'm sorry if I sound like I'm playing the victim-"_

_She cut me off by waving her hand. _"I just wanted an explanation. I could have guessed that was the reason behind your actions." _I couldn't tell if she was still upset or not. Her voice was just calm, and it made me feel worse. _"Now can you help me understand why after you stormed out of here, you return hours later covered in blood?"

_I don't know why, but I felt like a little kid who had got caught doing something wrong. "After I left you…" I saw her lip start to quiver and her face screamed of sadness. For a moment, I couldn't believe that I was the one who has done this to her. I always tried to protect her feelings from other people, but now I was the one hurting her. "After I left you, I went walking. When I was walking, I heard someone call after me, I turned around and it was some man – he'd wanted to ask me a question… He put his hand on me and next thing I know, he's on the ground holding his face."_

"Jane…" _I held up my hand letting her know I needed to finish._

"_Then, I went to the park to have some peace of mind, but that didn't work out too well either. I felt like I was invading the kids' privacy, just watching them play… Just like __**he**__ watched me. Then some man came and sat beside me, he said he was watching me from the other side of the park and thought he'd ask me out to dinner, he thought I was beautiful Maur, and all I could think about was __**him**__ watching me and calling me beautiful. I was about to turn him down when I looked at him – he had the same grin on his face. Next thing I know, the guy had a bloody nose."_

"Jane…"

"_Let me finish Maura. Then I went to a bar on the corner to get a beer…"_

"You know you're not supposed to be drinking beer Jane."

_I knew she was upset that I was drinking, but I decided it would be best not to argue about that. "So, I went to get a beer, and I felt a hand on my back, I turned around and saw it was some drunk. He was trying to make a pass at me so I jabbed him in the stomach. I turned around and he came towards me and put his hand on both sides of me so I couldn't get away…" She reached out for my hand giving me the support she knew I needed. "He leaned towards me and practically growled in my ear, that he'd make sure I'll never do that again… That's what __**he**__ said Maura. I looked in his eyes and it was the same anger, and I blacked out." She squeezed my hand. "When I came back to my senses, he was on the ground holding his junk, without a front tooth, and I had blood and glass on me."_

"Jane let me make sure you don't have any cuts, we don't want you back in the hospital…"_ I saw the regret on her face once she said that. _"Jane, I didn't mean-"

"_It's fine Maur, it happened, we can't necessarily ignore it."_

_After she finished checking me for any cuts, we went to watch a documentary on the couch. It felt like the awkwardness swallowed everything and insecurity replaced what once was a comfortable silence. I knew I hadn't told Maura all I wanted, and I figured in order for us to get better, I'd have to let her know **everything**. "Maura, I need to tell you something..."_

"What is it Jane?"

"_You know, I've been thinking…"_

"…about?"

"_Us. Before everything happened, I wanted to talk to you about it but, reality…" A shake of her head confirmed that she knew what I meant. I didn't know how to phrase what I wanted to say, I'd gone over it countless times in my head but now I drew a blank, and before I could think any further, it came out. Word vomit._

"_Maura, I love you. Like, __**love**__ you." Her mouth dropped open and for a minute, I thought I'd said the wrong thing, but I needed to get all my feelings out. "I have for years and I wanted to tell you but you're my best friend, best friends can't love best friends, like **love **love… But I did. I wanted to tell you __**that**__ night but obviously I couldn't. Then once I was free, I couldn't bare to see you or anyone else. Not after you've seen me so weak. There was no way you could like me once you've seen me like that, I was broken – hell I still am! I shut you out; I shut you out when I longed for you the most. I was doing nothing but hurting myself – the cutting was just the icing on the cake. Then coming back to you was like everything I'd imagine it being but I just couldn't shake the feeling that I wasn't good enough for you." I stood up and started pacing around the coffee table. My words were coming out like a rant, my body temperature was rising, and I just couldn't stop until everything I wanted to say, was said. "Then today, just confirmed for me that – I can't love you. I can't be there for you and be so broken, traumatized, and.. and… scared. I can't do that to you. You deserve someone that doesn't have night terrors or black out and beat on people. What if I hurt you? I couldn't live with myself if I ever put my hands on you…"_

"Jane, please calm down before you hurt yourself."

"_I'm already hurt Maura! __**He **__hurt me, I've hurt myself, and I've hurt you. I think that's what causes me the most pain. The fact that I've hurt you for the past four months; then I show up here and hurt you more! I can't love you the way that I want and it's starting to drive me crazy!" I stopped so I could read her face, her head was bowed and tears ran down from her cheek onto the floor. _

"Jane, you can. You can love me any way you want." She picked up her head and started to walk towards me.

"_Why would you want me to. I can't give you anything – not when I have nothing." I started to walk away but she caught my arm and brought me back towards her._

"Why? Because I love you; I love you and I always have. You have more to offer me than anyone else I've ever met so don't say you have nothing… You have me." _Those three words._

_I looked down into her eyes making sure she could see every emotion in them. "I had a dream last night that I hurt you and left you again. What if I do that again?"_

_She grabbed my hand and locked our fingers._"Jane, I know you wouldn't intentionally hurt me unless it was to help me. And even if you did hurt me, I wouldn't leave you. I couldn't leave you." _She kissed me. I felt like everything that has been a burden on me, washed away, leaving me shiny and new. Everything from the past four months up to now doesn't matter. All that matters is the future. I know she feels the same, I can tell in her kiss. _"I'll always be there for you. We'll get through this… together." _She squeezed my hand and in turn I locked my lips with hers. All of our pain – gone. _

"_Together."_

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**A/N: This story is getting the best of me! XP**

**Thoughts? Reviews? **


	4. Author's Note

**A/N: Don't worry, I haven't forgotten about this story, I got a little tied up with school and a broken laptop -_-**

**I have a few ideas for the next chapter but I'm not sure if I should leave it here or continue. What do you all think? **


	5. Chapter 5

**Maura's POV**

_Abnormally, I woke up to the sound of my alarm clock. I never do. As if that wasn't too much out of the ordinary for me, I woke up with someone's arm wrapped around me with my face buried into their neck. Don't get me wrong, I've woken up with people in my bed, but they've never been so close to me and I've never been so close to them… or this comfortable and happy. _

_As I roll over to turn off the alarm clock, I take a quick glance behind me to make sure that who is in my bed, is in fact, __**really**__ in my bed… it's Jane. She looks more peaceful than I remember seeing, almost contempt. I've been yearning to wake up and see that face beside me, but she doesn't know that. _

_As I'm doing my morning routine, I think about the past few months. I've gone without my best friend, come back to her, realized just how empty my life is without her, told her I love her, she loves me… well, wants to, and now we're here… wherever here is. I know we've talked a little about what's going on, but I really want more out of this. _

_After making a breakfast tray and a pot of coffee, I walked back into the room to wake Jane. _

"_Jane, I made breakfast. Wake up." I went to stroke her brow in hopes of waking her up, she had other thoughts. _

She grabbed my wrist, _"_NO! Let me go!"

"_Jane? Jane honey it's just me. It's Maura… Come on sweetie open your eyes, come on, it's okay. It's okay." _

_Her eyes shot open and the look in them was of pure terror. But once she saw it was me, they softened into sadness. Something I'm definitely not used to._ "Maura I am so sorry. I'm so sorry. I – I – I didn't realize it was… I didn't mean to… I- I'm sorry Maura, I really am."

_Her grip on my wrist loosened and she buried her face into the pillow, weeping. _

"_Jane, it's okay, I know you didn't mean to."_ She shook her head, still weeping. _"Look, I know you wouldn't deliberately hurt me Jane. If anything, you protect me from getting hurt…"_ She shook her head again. I sat down the tray of breakfast and go sit across from her on the bed_. "Are you shaking your head 'no' because you think you can't protect me?" _she shrugged her shoulders. _"Are you shaking your head because you think you just hurt me?" _She didn't say anything. I started to give up because from the looks of it, I wasn't going to be getting any direct answers, but me being me, I kept on_. "Are you shaking your head because you don't think it's okay? What you just did?" _

_There was a slow silence, and then she finally raised her head. Her eyes were red and puffy and she just looked so miserable, so lost… she spoke. _"Yeah. I mean, no it's not okay what I just did to you; yes to the question you just asked. I don't think it's okay."

"Jane, I know you didn't mean it. I know you didn't, c'mon it's fine." I dipped my head so that I could reach her eyes and take her hand. "I promise. It's okay, alright?"

She sat up in the bed and stared at our hands. My best guess is that she was thinking really hard about something_. _"Alright. Umm, aren't you supposed to be getting ready for work?"

I grabbed the breakfast tray from the night stand and sat it on my lap. _"Well yes but I think it'd be in both of our interests if I stayed home today."_ I picked up my bowl of granola and began eating, preparing for the answer I knew I was going to get.

"Maura you don't have to stay home because of me. I'm a grown up, I'll be okay home alone."

"_I'd feel better if I'd stay home with you."_

"Maura…" I could tell she was getting a little irritated.

"_Look Jane, I've already decided that I'm going to stay home and that's it."_ _I turned so that I could look her in the eye._

"Why? Why are you staying home?" she asked blankly.

"_I just want to be with you. I – I missed you Jane." I put down my breakfast and walked into the bathroom to clear my face of the tears that were starting to fall. Oh God, she doesn't want me around her._

"Maura wait…" she hopped off the bed and grabbed me by my shoulder. "Again, I didn't mean to. Ijust… Do you want to stay home just so you can watch over me?"

"_No. If I wanted to watch you I'd say so, but I didn't. And you know I can't lie, so why would you second guess my intentions?" I hope she doesn't second guess other things also. Like her feelings for me._

"I didn't – I mean, I did second guess, I just wanted to be sure." She moved her hand down my arm, I'm positive she heard the hitch in my breath as she did so, and grabbed my hand. "I wanted to be sure you aren't just staying from work because you feel that it's like a duty to watch me after ya know, what happened… Or anything like that." Suddenly, she began to find new interest in my carpet, she wouldn't look up.

_I raised her head so we could look eye to eye. "Jane look, you are not, nor will you ever be, a duty of mine. I just really want to spend the day with you, if that's alright with you." I took her hand in mine and by the look in her eye; I knew I'd won this round._

"You can stay."She squeezed my hand and pulled me in for a hug. It felt good being able to just be around her again. The real her… well, as real as it'll be able to get right now.

_I knew I'd missed Jane, but in this moment I realized just how much I missed her during those four months. I missed being able to hear her voice, something so powerful, sexy, and for me, calming. I missed her scent, lavender mixed with her unique smell, it's something that's just so her that I love. I missed being able to see her, her dimples. But most of all, I missed being able to feel her. Whenever_ _she'd hug me I always felt safe and loved… Although these thought of me being deprived of this saddens me, I just love the fact that I got it back._

_When we pulled apart, I can honestly say that that was the first time since she's been here that I've seen her smile that sly smile that she usually does_.

"Ya know, I was kinda hoping you wouldn't back down and end up staying home with me."

"_Really? Then why did you act like you wanted me to leave so bad?" _

"Well, I know you love work and like I said, I didn't want you to feel like you _had_ to take care of me so I pushed you to see what it was you really wanted to do."

_I pulled her back towards the bed so that we could finish eating the remains of breakfast._

"Hey Maur?"

"_Hmm?"_

"I missed you too… I mean _a lot, a lot._"

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**A/N: Well I've FINALLY got my laptop fixed and am on spring break… That's good news.**

**Bad news is that I have to pick up from this point tomorrow. Sorry )':**


	6. Chapter 6

"**Hey Maur?"**

"_**Hmm?"**_

"**I missed you too… I mean **_**a lot, a lot.**_**"**

* * *

**Maura's POV**

_When she said that, I didn't know how to react. There were so many questions I could ask based off that one. "Really?"_

"Yeah Maur."

_She grabbed my hand and moved the empty breakfast tray off of the bed. "Then why wouldn't you come stay with me when I asked? Why did you shut me out for four whole months? I get you wanted to be alone for a while, that kind of experience usually does, but why when you realized that you missed me, you didn't call me, you didn't come back to me, why?" I did my best to try to look into her eyes but I just couldn't; I didn't want her to see the insecurity in them, so I kept my head down. I heard her take a deep breath and knew immediately, that I'd said that 'hit home', as she would say._

"Maura. When I first got home from being kidnapped I didn't expect for it to take such a huge toll on me. I mean, even though it was a traumatic experience, I figured I would be alone to sulk for maybe a week or two then I'd be back to myself, obviously I was wrong. Then as far as me shutting you out – believe it or not, that was _the hardest _thing for me to do to you Maur." _She used her hand to raise my head up then she looked me in the eyes and said,_ "For years I've been trying to convince myself that I was good for you. I know that I can be harsh and with my everyday life comes danger and I don't want that for you." _I was about to object when she held up her finger to stop me. _"I've watched you go through things and I've seen you get hurt. I always wanted to be the one to take that hurt away. So after I got kidnapped, I didn't want you to see me all broken and unstable, that's not me and I don't want to be like that around you. So while I was cooped in my apartment for those four months I kept thinking that if you were with me, you'd take some of the pain away but you'd also see me in that state and you'd be hurt. How could I be the person to take away your pain _while _causing you pain? I can't." _She averted her eyes and started picking with her scars – a habit of nervousness I've learned. _"I figured keeping you away would keep you from getting hurt because of me. I couldn't stand the thought of me causing you pain… but I guess that kinda backfired huh?"

_Soaking in all she'd said, I was speechless, something that doesn't happen very often._

_I know that either way, if she'd stayed with me or not, I would have been a little hurt, but now I know that all she was really trying to do was protect me and I can't be mad at her for doing what she's always done._

_There was stillness in the air. Like time had frozen. We just sat there, neither of us talking. The only noise was the scratching of Bass moving around… and that didn't come very often. The silence started to bring a little apprehension, so I spoke up._

"_Jane… I really don't know what to say, I'm at a loss for words."_

_She stopped picking with her scars long enough to respond to me. _"Hmm, the knowledgeable Dr. Isles is speechless? Thought I'd never see the day."_ She said laughing._

"_I just don't know how to respond to that, honestly. I just – I really wanted you here with me Jane, and when you shut me out, I didn't know what to do with myself. I didn't know if I'd done something or…"_

"Maura, I'm sorry that I hurt you, I just didn't want you to see me like that. I just didn't… I don't know Maura; I guess I thought I was keeping you from getting hurt when I was just hurting you all along… but you've got to know that that wasn't my intention Maura."

"_I know Jane. But did you ever think that maybe what I needed at that time was just to see you?"_

"A lot of times. But like I said, I didn't want you seeing me like that."

"_You know you don't always have to try to protect me? Maybe I wanted you with me, pain and all."_

"Yeah I know, but it's who I am... I'm a protector. And why would you want me with my "pain and all"?"

"_Because I loved you, because I __**love **__you. And when you love someone you don't want to sit there and watch them go through pain, you want to be there for them to make it better… and if I couldn't make it better, I'd go through the pain with you. Just because I love you." I rested my head on her shoulder and sighed as she wrapped her arm around my back. We sat there for a while, just recapping everything that was said. Pleased that we were finally talking and getting over what happened._

"_You know, I was scared as hell when I saw you cuffed to the bed. And the way he kept yelling – I thought I was never going to see you again." I paused, not knowing if she was comfortable with me talking about the actual incident._

"Yeah, I was scared too."

_I could tell by her short answer that she didn't want to talk about it any further. I began to rub her arm and stopped abruptly when I felt the gauze underneath my fingers. "Why did you do it?" I said in whisper, not wanting to accidentally upset her._

"I don't know." _She stated staring at her arm._ "I was just trying it out at first to see if it'd help me feel better a little, then it just kinda went from there. At first the emotional pain that I was feeling was released and I focused on a totally different pain, but when I woke up, I was in excruciating pain, both physically and emotionally."

_I knew I was asking too many questions that was probably making her uncomfortable but there was just one that I had to know the answer to. But maybe I shouldn't ask it, it could be too intrusive… _

"I know there's a question you're dying to ask so ask it."

_Caught. "How do you know?"_

"Your eyebrows are all scrunched up and you're biting your lip, you usually do that when you think."

"_Hmm, you know me so well don't you." I felt accomplished, my use of sarcasm was great._

"I know you quite a bit, yeah. So what was your question?" _She said laughing._

"_Well, I just had to know, did you cut an 'M' for…"_

"Maura? Yes."

"_Oh."_

"I guess because you were basically the main one on my mind and were the one person I wanted, it made me feel like you were with me in a way. I know it makes no sense but it did at the time."

_I felt relieved in a way that she explained everything, but of course she would have known that I would want an explanation, I just didn't want to pry. "It makes sense; most people usually cut someone's name or initials onto their skin to feel that that person is always with them or a part of them in one way or another."_

"Yeah, I guess you're right as usual." _She said with a dry laugh_

"_No matter what, I'm glad that you're here with me now." I snuggled closer into her neck and kissed it. "I don't want you to leave me ever again Jane." I let out a small yawn and began to lean into her more._

_She kissed my temples and let her lips linger there, _"I'll never leave you again. Promise."

_I nodded my response._

"Sleepy?"

"_Mhmm."_

_She began to slip underneath the covers never losing contact with me. _"Sleep, I'll be right here."

"_Sleep… __**with**__… me. Don't just lay there."_

_I heard her laugh before I fell asleep_

"Alright Maur."

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**A/N: So this is it for now, I'll edit it tomorrow. Thanks guys.**

**x**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Yes, the hiatus is over! I'm also out for summer so updates should be coming more frequently. This chapter was a little iffy for me to write with it being that I haven't written in so long, but hopefulyl I'll get back in the game. Thanks to those who've stayed with the story, it means a lot.  
xoxox**

* * *

It's been a week since Maura's been back at work and even though she went months without Jane being there, it still felt empty somehow.

Today was a pretty slow day, no murders came through so everyone was busy with paperwork. Or if you were Korsak, you were busing yourself with donuts and less than entertaining animal videos on YouTube.

Maura and Jane had been talking about Jane's return to work, and they came to an agreement that as soon as Jane's stitches came out, tomorrow, she'd go through all of the necessary processes to get back on the job.

Because Maura always kept up on her paperwork, she had none; so instead she spent the rest of the day organizing and reorganizing cases, completing inventory, and shoe shopping.

Maura was looking at Jimmy Choo's new arrivals when there was a knock at her office door. She quickly minimized the page and invited in the visitor. "Come in."

"Hey doc," Frost crossed the threshold and took a seat on the stylish, yet uncomfortable couch stationed in Maura's office. "God, now I see why Jane always complained about this thing. The visitor's chair is more comfortable than this."

During the past months, Maura had grown closer to Frost. Without Jane there, Frost or Korsak came down during cases, the majority of the time it was Frost. He helped her when she needed company or when she was just worrying about Jane. Aside from Jane, Frost was Maura's friend. _Or was Jane something else now? _

"Did you need something Barry?"

"Me and Korsak wanted to know if you wanted to head to the robber. Chances are that we won't have a body for the rest of the day and Cavanaugh told us to just take an early day."

"That sounds nice, I'll just meet you two out front."

"Sweet, see ya." He replied , leaving the office.

* * *

"So doc, how did the day treat you?" Korsak took a bite of his burger.

"My day was rather uneventful. Did a little organizing and inventory to help pass the time. How was it up there in the bullpen?" She took a sip of her wine.

"Well, you know, he spent his time drooling over creatures," Korsak plucked Frost in the ear. "Hey! And I just took a nap. Very boring day may I say."

"You got that right." Korsak replied.

Maura was enjoying her salad when she got a text message.

"**I miss you. Ma keeps acting like I'm fragile. Although I do enjoy the lack of physical contact, she keeps asking me if I need anything every five minutes. I'm gonna kill her. -Jane"**

Maura was in the middle of replying when another message came through.

"**I got her to leave, now I'm happy. Oh and btw, Bass is the worst. I've tripped over him three times and he doesn't talk back. Hurry home! -Jane"**

Jane couldn't stop the smile that crept on her face.

"Well Korsak would you look at that. I'd say Dr. Isles has an admirer." Teased Frost

"I'd say you were right Frost, look at that blush." He replied laughing.

"Very funny guys. It's not an admirer, it's Jane. She just kicked Angela out of the house because she kept nagging her, and on top of that, she keeps tripping over Bass."

"Bass is your turtle right?" Asked Frost.

"He's a tortoise, and yes, he's mine." She replied. "What does "btw" stand for?"

"By the way." Korsak now had two sets of eyes on him. "What? I'm educated in the text lingo."

"Korsak, no one says _lingo _anymore."

"Whatever Frost. So doc, how is Jane?"

Maura typed her reply and tucked away her cell phone. "She's fine. She should be back in a few days, give or take."

"I don't mean to pry, but how did you get her to start talking to you?" Frost was always a little too curious.

Maura hadn't told them the story of Jane cutting herself or how she ended up staying with Maura temporarily. It's Jane and Maura's business and their business alone… or at least until the time comes.

"I went to visit her one day and we just talked about it." She shrugged her shoulders and quickly took a bite out of her salad to put off the questions that might've been coming towards her.

"Well I can't wait until she comes back, I miss her sarcastic ass. Butt, I mean butt." Korsak gave Maura a shy smile. "And besides, she can finally get this kid off of my back." He pointed to Frost.

"Whatever Korsak, you know you love me." Frost stated, making kissy faces at the older detective.

Pushing Frost away, Korsak quipped, "Yeah, woman of my dreams."

Maura continued laughing at the pair in front of her, they were always arguing, but she wouldn't have them any other way.

Moments later when they all finished their short lunch, they parted ways.

"Tell Jane we said hey." Said Frost, walking to his unmarked.

"Will do, see you two Monday."

On the way home, Maura stopped at the grocery store to pick up some snacks for her and Jane's movie night.

"**Did you pick out a movie and do you need more beer? -Maura"**

"**Yes, I picked out a couple movies, we'll decide when you get home. And I'm good on beer."**

Maura got their basic movie snacks and picked up some Chinese take-out for their dinner.

Maura quietly snuck in the house and sat the bags down. Not too long after, did she feel something furry at her feet.

"Hey there Jo. Did you miss your mommy? I did." After she washed her hands, she inwardly scolded herself for talking to an animal. _Okay, I've been around Jane a little too much._

After she put away the bags and set their dinner out on plates, she quietly walked into the living room. Seeing it bare, she tip-toed up the stairs to her room. Jane was lying on the bed diagonally, sheets tangled around her long legs, snuggled into Maura's pillow. The sight made Maura's heart warm. She sat down on the bed and planted a kiss on Jane's lips.

"Mmmm," Jane stirred. "Maura, what are you doing home early?" She sat up.

Maura smiled softly. "No cases came in today so me and the boys went to the robber for a little bit." She walked to her dresser and pulled out a pair of yoga pants and a "Dr. Smartypants" t-shirt that Jane had made for her. After changing, She pulled Jane off the bed and wrapped her in a hug. "I missed you today."

Jane leaned down and gave Maura a loving kiss. "I missed you too. How was work?"

"Well since there were no cases, I just organized, did inventory, and looked at some shoes online."

"Mmm, sounds very busy."

"I brought some take-out to eat before out before we start our movie." She grabbed Jane's hand and led her to the kitchen. "I also picked up some snack for us."

Jane sat down at the table and began digging in her pork lo mein. "Piggin' out this weekend are we Dr. Isles?"

Maura rolled her eyes. "No we are not "Pigging out", I just want to relax with you this weekend. Work was not the most pleasant this week." She took a bite of her vegetable lo mein.

"I can't wait to get back, I _can _wait for the boring days though."

"Oh, Barry and Vince said hello. Vince also said he can't wait for you to get Frost off his back." She began laughing.

"Yeah, I miss those guys – not that they'd ever know though. I am a little nervous about going back though."

"What are you nervous about?"

Jane took a sip of her beer. "I just don't want people to look at me differently you know? It kinda feels like Hoyt all over again, everybody's gonna have their little pity parties for me and you know I don't like that." She pushed her plate away from her.

Maura took Jane's hand. "Oh Jane, no one's going to pity you, if anything they'll be more than happy to have you back. I know some things will be a little different, but that's because of how much time you've missed." She rubbed Jane's hand, hoping that it'll offer comfort.

"I don't know, my ma was scared I was going to break if she'd touch me. And if that woman can keep her hands to herself, then everyone everywhere won't hesitate to." They both shared a laugh. "But seriously, what if I freak out when someone touches me. No one other than you has touched me since I've been back."

"Honestly, I don't know Jane. But I do feel that you've gotten better with people touching you, remember when you first came home?" Jane nodded her head. "You're much more inviting to the touches now. But I tell you what, if you can handle the touching when we go get your stitches out tomorrow, then I _know _you'll be ready for work. And if not, then we'll tell people not to touch you without notice first." She cleaned up their dinner plates and put away the leftovers.

The two of them were spooning on the couch after deciding to watch Les Misérables. It had the history for Maura and the entertainment for Jane – perfect.

"Maura?" Who was playing little spoon.

"Yes Jane?" Who was playing big spoon.

"Thank you." She placed a kiss on the back of Maura's neck.

Maura turned around in Jane's arms. "For what?"

"For everything. For coming to get me, letting me stay here, putting up with me, just taking care of me… loving me."

Maura gave Jane a long kiss then rested her forehead against Jane's. "I didn't do anything you wouldn't have done for me." She looked into Jane's eyes.

"If you hadn't come over that night to pull my head out my ass, I don't know where or what I'd be right now. You saved me Maur."

"I just missed you so much. Four months never seemed so long to me before." She closed her eyes trying to keep the tears at bay.

"I know, and I'm so sorry for that." She wiped a stray tear away from Maura's face.

"Well, I've got you now." She opened her eyes.

No other words were said. Jane claimed Maura's lips as her own. Maura's hands slipped under Jane's shirt and began pulling Jane toward her. Jane's hands gripped Maura's beautifully toned thighs and began to pull her impossibly closer. Jane's tongue brushed the bottom of Maura's lip, asking for entrance. Maura gladly accepted and when their tongues met, they both let out a low moan. Jane began pulling Maura on top of her so that she was now straddling her. When the need for air overcame them, Maura moved her lips down to Jane's jaw and then to her neck. Mindlessly, Maura began rocking her hips into Jane's, causing them both to groan. Jane bucked her hips upward, and let out a breathy sigh when it came into contact with Maura's thrust.

Hands began to wonder and their breath began to become laboured. Maura once again found Jane's lips and their tongues met for the second time.

"Mmm, Jane." Maura breathed while Jane began nipping at her jaw.

"Hmm?" She asked, placing open mouthed kisses on Maura's neck.

"I–I think we should stop." She breathlessly replied, not yet letting up on her grinding.

"You okay?" Jane stopped the attack on Maura's neck but had yet to stop her thrusts. She placed her hand on Maura's ass and pulled her forward more, causing their most sensitive part to brush slightly.

"Mmm, I'm more than fine, I–I'm just not ready yet." She proper herself up on her arms to look down at Jane who finally stopped bucking her hips. "I'm sorry. I do want to, just not yet."

Jane pulled Maura in for a deep kiss. "No need to apologize, we can wait until you're ready. It's not like I know what the hell I'm doing anyway." She laughed.

Maura laid down on top of Jane and snuggled into her neck. "Thank you, Jane."

Jane took the throw blanket off the back of the couch and laid it over them. It didn't take much longer for the two of them to fall asleep contently.


	8. Chapter 8

Maura woke up to the sound of her alarm. "Oh my god! Jane!"

"What Maura? Can it wait?" She buried her head under the covers.

"No. Did you press the snooze button earlier?" She walked into the bathroom.

"Yeah, why?"

"Because, now we're going to be late for your doctor's appointment. Did you forget you're getting your stitches out today?" She rushed out the bathroom and began skimming through her closet.

"Shit! I forgot!" She ran into the bathroom and turned on the shower.

"Jane, there's not enough time to shower."

"I'll be quick. I'll brush my teeth in here and it'll go faster." She yelled.

"Who does that? Ew."

"I was wondering why your damn alarm was going off."

"Just… hurry up." She put on a mint body con dress that stopped mid thigh, and a pair of coral coloured sandals, complete with coral accessories. "I'll make us a snack, just come downstairs when you're ready."

"Got'cha."

Five minutes later, Jane came downstairs ready to go. "I'm ready – Maur, what are you wearing?"

She handed Jane a cup of yogurt, a granola bar, and a water bottle. "You like? I just brought this dress last month; I never got to wear it." She spun in a circle, showing off her outfit. "And the shoes, I've had them a while." She started pushing Jane out the door.

"No, I _know _what you're wearing. I'm not blind. But… _why _are you wearing it?" She sat down in the passenger's seat.

"What do you mean _why?_ Am I supposed to go to your appointment naked?" She pulled out the driveway, laughing.

"No. But it's… never mind." _That dress is sexy as hell, that's what it is._ She began to eat her snack.

"Are you okay, Jane?"

"Fine." She squeaked out.

* * *

They entered the office with two minutes to spare. "Jane Rizzoli; check-in."

"They will call you in just a moment."

The two were soon called in by the nurse.

"Hello, Jane. I'm Nurse April." Jane shook the offered hand. "And nice to meet you too…" She offered Maura her hand.

"Oh. Dr. Maura Isles." They shook hands.

"Nice to meet you too, Dr. Isles." The nurse took a seat. "So how have you been Jane?"

"Uhh, pretty good."

"Have you been taking the prescribed medicine?"

"I took for a week, and then I didn't need it anymore."

"Okay… So I take it that everything went well then? The healing process?" She looked to Maura.

"Yes, everything was fine. I made sure the bandages were changed and the wound was cleaned properly." She nodded.

"Let's have a look." She grabbed Jane's arm.

"Whoa!" She snatched her arm away.

"It's okay Jane. She was just gonna check your arm." Maura sat next to Jane and began rubbing her back.

Jane blushed. "Uhh, sorry nurse, you caught me off guard, that's it."

"It's fine. May I?" She motioned towards Jane's arm.

"Go ahead." She kept her eyes glued to the nurse's hands.

"Well, everything looks fine. I'll go get the doctor for you." She walked out the room.

"See what I meant Maura? What if I do little things like that when I go back to work?"

"We can work on it the best we can, alright? That's all we can do." She kissed Jane's cheek.

"Alright."

"Hey ladies, I'm Dr. John." He offered his hand.

"Jane Rizzoli." Hand shake.

"Dr. Maura Isles." Hand shake.

"Ahh, Dr. Isles, I've heard nothing but good things about you. Very good work." Jane watched his eyes rake over Maura's body.

Jane cleared her throat. "So doc, am I getting these things out today or not?"

"Oh. I just finished reading your chart, everything looks good. Looks like they can come out today." He gathered the needed supplies. "This may hurt a little, it's different for everyone. Would you like for me to numb the area?"

"Nah. Just get these out so we can leave."

"Very well." He poured peroxide on a cotton ball and gripped her arm.

Jane flinched. "Yo doc! Uhh, can you _not _grip my arm so tight?" She gave Maura a pleading look.

"Sorry, I usually have to grip pretty snug, people like to flinch a lot." He loosened his grip.

He began wiping her arm down in peroxide, and once it foamed up, he wiped it off. "So what do you do?"

"I'm a detective for BPD." She replied, proudly.

"Wow, I bet you see a lot of things on the job."

"Yeah." She drawled out.

He cut the first eight stitches. "Kay, I'm going to pull out the first eight. This'll probably feel a little weird, just sit still."

"I'm not five, I've had stitches before." She rolled her eyes.

Ignoring Jane's sass, he said. "So Dr. Isles, how've your day been?"

"Well, we slept in late so I haven't done much. How was yours?"

"Busy. This'll be the fourth stitch removal I've done all done so far today. People need to be more careful."

'Can I please shoot him?' Jane mouthed. Maura laughed.

He took out the remainder of the stitches and cleaned the area. "Keep the area dry for the next 3-5 days, cover it up in the shower, and if it does get wet, just dap it dry. Little moisturizer if needed and for scarring, some mederma should do."

"Thank you, Dr. John." Maura was always so polite.

"No problem Doctor." He winked at Maura who turned to walk out of the room.

Jane walked out behind the doctor who was openly staring at Maura's butt while she was walking. "Yo doc," she grabbed his shoulder. "You're sorta drooling." She stepped in front of him. "Eyes up. Got it?"

He laughed in her face. "Okay, detective."

"Come on, Jane." Called Maura from the check out desk.

"Coming Maur." She gave the doctor one last glare before walking away.

* * *

The entire car ride Jane was quiet. There was no tension, just silence. "Can we stop at Harris Teeter, I want lunch?"

"Sure. Why are you so quiet?"

Jane shrugged her shoulders. "Is something wrong? Please talk to me."

She huffed. "Fine. You totally knew that douche was flirting with you, Maur." She crossed her arms.

"He was?"

"Uhh, yeah! He was clearly more interested in you than me – his patient."

"I didn't know, I just thought he was being nice."

"Yeah right," she pulled out her phone and started to play 'Can You Escape?' "And he was checking out your ass too."

"Really? I wasn't aware."_  
_

"Yeah, that dress is good at drawing attention to your… _Ass_ets."

"Excuse me?" She parked the Prius.

She put away her phone. "That dress is pretty much a second skin, Maura. Of course he'd look. Hell, _I'd _look."

"So are you saying I shouldn't wear this dress anymore because it causes too much attention?"

"No… Yeah. Yes!"

"And why is that?" She faced Jane. _Stay calm, Maura._

"Because! You're basically saying: "Hey! Look at my awesome ass, everyone!". It just draws attention, Maura."

"Oh. What's wrong with attention? If I like this dress, which I do, I'm going to wear it. I'll keep wearing it if I want." She grabbed her purse.

"Nothing's wrong with attention, it's the attention to your… lady parts I don't like."

"And why not? It's not like we're together. I actually don't even know what we are, Jane!" Jane didn't reply. "Yeah…" She got out the car and slammed the door.

"Whoa. What do you mean you don't know what we are?" She stepped in front of Maura. "You love me and I love you. What more is there to it?"

Maura sighed. "I don't know, Jane. Let's just get your food, alright?" She patted Jane's cheek and walked away.

_I'm in trouble._

* * *

**A/N: I'm stopping here because it was getting kinda long. I already finished the second half so it'll be up tomorrow.**

**x**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Okay. I finished this off around 4am so it may be a little rocky, but yeah. Here you go.**

* * *

Jane was on the couch watching reruns of Friends while Maura was upstairs. _Probably still pissed._

Since they left the store, the two haven't said a word to each other, and it was getting to them both.

Jane was getting a beer out of the fridge when Maura came downstairs. _Still in that damn dress I see._

"I'll be back." She grabbed her keys.

"Wait, where're you going?"

"Well if you _must_ know, I'm going to get my hair cut then a pedicure." She was clearly irritated.

"Why? I like your hair like that."

"It's too long. I'm only getting a little cut off. Bye Jane." Jane didn't get a chance to reply before she walked out the door.

_Wow. Ice queen._

Jane plopped down on the couch and Jo crawled into her lap. "What do I do Jo? I need to make it up to her." She thought for a minute. "I think I got it Jo!" she pulled out her phone. "Hey ma... Yeah, I'm fine... Yeah they're out, got them out today. Listen, are you home? You still have my car keys? I'm coming over to get them alright? See you."

* * *

Maura walked into her house calmer than when she left.

"Hey Maur!" Jane kissed her on the cheek.

Maura, a little shocked by Jane's messy appearance and cheery attitude, answers: "Hey. It smells good in here."

"Yeah, I'm cooking. It should be done in about ten." She walked back into the kitchen.

"Hmm, I'm going to shower, I should be back down when it's finished."

"Alright, take your time. Oh and Maur,"

"Yes…"

"I like your hair… and feet." She smiled.

"Thank you?" _I wonder why she's so cheery._

Twenty minutes later, Maura came downstairs in more comfortable clothes and sat at the table Jane prepared for the two of them. "What are we eating?"

"You'll see." She placed the dessert on a cooling rack in the kitchen and placed her and Maura's dinner on plates. "Here we go." She placed the food on the table along with Maura's wine and her beer.

"Shepherd's pie? When did you start eating Irish food? Or drinking Irish beer?"

"Since today. I figured since I fuc – screwed up today, I'd make it up to you. And we always eat Italian food, we never get to eat your kinda food. So I made Irish food." Her smile looked more like a grimace. "Is it okay?"

"It tastes amazing! Have you always known how to make this?" She asked, taking another bite.

"Nope. Internet." Maura nodded.

The rest of dinner went by quietly with the exception of the few moans and comments on the food. Jane cleared the dishes and put away the leftovers. "I hope you're not full, I made dessert. Well, we're making it… in a way."

"Okay." She replied hesitantly. "I'm going to go pee… be right back."

When she came back in the kitchen, there were cookies, brownies, and ice cream on her island. "Jane?"

"Yeah?"

"What's going on?"

"It's uhh, dessert. I remember you telling me you never went to sleepovers or had one, so you've never done this. So tonite we're going to." Maura nodded. "Go in the living room and put in the movie that's on the coffee table. I'll be in there soon."

There were blankets and pillows on the floor… lots of them. She picked up the movie. "The Lion King? What's this about?"

Jane sat the dessert on the coffee table. "You'll just have to wait and see. I was 18 when it came out and I loved it, but don't tell anyone."

"It looks like a kid's movie."

"It is, but I love it. Do you want a cookie or brownie first with your ice cream?"

"Cookie."

"I was hoping you'd say that. Alright. Here's the best way to eat cookies with ice cream: take two cookies, and make an ice cream sandwich. Here, taste."

"Mmm, that's really good. Although it's a lot of sugar."

"When you have sleepovers, there's never a lot of sugar."

"Why are you doing this, Jane?" Jane's face fell. "Not that I don't like it, I do. Just why?"

"I just wanted to make it up to you, for acting like a jerk earlier."

"Yes, why were you acting like a "jerk" earlier?" She took the rest of Jane's ice cream sandwich.

"I told you why. I don't like people looking at you like you're just a piece of ass, and that dress was just…"

"But shouldn't that be _my _problem, I like wearing my clothes Jane."

"I like them too–"

"So leave it at that."

"No. I don't want people looking at you that way."

"Well you don't always get what you want, Jane."

"Maura, do you know what it's like to watch people ogle you like that? Especially when we're… ya know." She motioned between them.

"No, I don't know, Jane. Which goes back to my point earlier, we're _not _together."

The movie started but they were paying it no mind.

Jane began to get frustrated. "How?! We do things couples do. I'm pretty sure people who are _just friends _don't make out and damn near have sex."

Maura stood up. "DO not raise your voice at me. I'm going to bed."

"No, we're not done. What do you want me to do Maura?" Her voice was now strained.

"I shouldn't have to tell you, Jane! Damn."

"Whoa. You cursed." She looked like a deer in headlights.

"So?"

Jane grabbed Maura's hands. "Please sit down. Please?" she pulled Maura down. "I just don't want people looking at you that way, I overreacted, and I'm sorry."

"Mhmm." She faced the tv but it was obvious she wasn't really paying attention to it.

Jane got an idea. She started singing.

"No, It doesn't have to be like this baby, it doesn't have to be like this baby, it doesn't have to be like this babyyyy, it doesn't have to be like thisss!

I want to say you made me feel stupid, I suspect you feel sad and drifted upon– a sea of ignorance, underneath you surly suffer, but I don't wanna be, I don't wanna be a darkness to you."

She could see the corners of Maura's lips turn up. Maura always found it funny when Jane tried to sing.

"Maura, you know I can keep going." She leaned closer to Maura.

"God no," She laughed. "You cannot sing!" She leaned away from Jane.

"Don't you lean away from me woman. I'll start with a different song." She warned.

"You won't." She challenged.

"I-I love you like a love song baby, I-I love you like a love song baby, I-I love you like a love song baby, and I keep hittin' repeat-peat-peat-peat-peat." Maura tried to run away, but Jane grabbed her in time.

"Jane! Okay, I forgive you. Just _please _stop singing."

"Fine. I'll stop singing. But you're still going to pay for trying to run."

Jane took a spoon of ice cream and inched it closer to Maura's face. "Jane, no!"

She hovered over Maura and pinned her arms down with her hand. "Jane please!"

She smeared the ice cream on Maura's face. "Jane! Now I'll be sticky!"

"Oops." She licked ice cream off of Maura's nose. "Yummy."

"Let me up so I can wash my face. Pleaseeee." She batted her eyelashes.

"Fine." As soon as she got off of Maura, Maura dipped her hand in the ice cream bowl and smeared it over Jane's face.

"Ha ha!" She ran in the kitchen.

"Maura!" She growled and ran after her.

She had Maura trapped around the island. "So tell me Jane, why do you know a Selena Gomez song?"

"I have little cousins you know."

"Yeah, that's it." Maura sprinted into the living room, but not fast enough. Jane tackled her to the ground and crumbled a brownie in her face. "Oh my god."

"Giovanni would be so jealous, I got to lick your face." She licked Maura's chin.

"That's not funny."

"Is too. So am I forgiven?"

"Yes Jane, I forgive you."

"Awesome." Maura laughed and pulled her down into a kiss.

"Your face tastes good too, Jane."

"I bet." She kissed Maura again. "Maur?"

"Hmm?"

"Will you be my girlfriend?"

Maura murmured against Jane's lips. "Duh."

Both laughed into the kiss.


End file.
